Talk long enough to see whether their story stays the same, and no longer than that. For most people that is a few days of messages, one video call, and then a short meeting. There is no magic number of messages. There is an order, and skipping a step is how people get surprised.
The messages should establish three things. They live where they say they live. They want something compatible with what you want. They can name a day they are actually free. If a person will not answer those, more chatting will not fix it. It will only make you feel rude for asking.
Then do a video call before you travel. A few minutes is enough. You are checking that the face matches the photos and that they are comfortable staying on camera. Someone who cancels every video call, or who will only send a recording, can wait. A live call is a small ask before you give up an afternoon.
Meet in a public place, in the daytime if you can, for a coffee or a walk with a clear end. Tell a friend where you are going and when you expect to be back. Arrange your own transport there and home. Do not move the first meeting to a house, a car, or a second venue you had not agreed.
If they rush you, that is information. "I am only in town tonight" and "I have a surprise, come now" are pressure, not romance. A real person can meet on a day you both chose. The meeting-safely guide covers the practical checks once the day is set.
You can take longer than a few days if you want to. Only Dating does not charge you to keep talking. You should not take less than the video call. That step is the one people skip, and it is the one that shows you whether the profile is a person.
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